I recently sent a letter via attorney to my ex-husband. His response came from a lawyer – his cousin.
It was an unexpected injury. Here was someone I had spent time with in a family setting on multiple occasions speaking on behalf of my ex. Someone I was still friends with, it turns out, on social media.
I immediately unfriended the cousin. I was afraid my personal life could be used against me in court somehow, although my lawyer reassured me this was totally unlikely. It caused me to reevaluate my social media friendship with the entire family.
I hadn’t spoken to most of the family for years, digitally or otherwise. I discussed the possibility of unfriending all of them with my therapist. “What is in your best interests?” he asked.
Hmm… not to be reminded of my ex-husband. So off I went, unfriending the 19 mutual contacts I had with the lawyer.
Then I started seeing mutual friends from our married life together that I no longer spoke to. They got unfriended, too. I also unfriended anyone I had ever met through my ex and hadn’t developed into a personal friend.
The resulting emotions surprised me.
Instead of feeling like I had just lost connections, I felt empowered! I didn’t have to worry about people mentioning my appearance or recent activities to my ex-husband. I felt free to be myself without judgment.
Whether or not anyone was talking about me to my ex (they probably weren’t), I realized how scared I was of my abusive ex-husband. I was afraid my own life could be used against me.
The next time you’re faced with a question, ask yourself, “What is in my best interests?” The answer could set you free.