I think you need therapy. In fact, I think most people need therapy, but we make lots of excuses to avoid it.
I’ve been going to counseling for the past six years, and it continues to improve my life. Not everyone goes to therapy for that long, but I find it really helpful to check in with someone every week. I had these excuses to avoid therapy, and here’s why they’re all bullsh*t.
Excuse #1: I can just talk to my friends and family.
It’s great to talk openly about your mental health with family and friends. However, our loved ones can only help so much. Most of them aren’t trained in active listening and can’t provide techniques to help us change unhealthy thought patterns. While Mom’s perspective is important, working with an objective third-party professional can have a deeper impact.
Excuse #2: I don’t have time.
If we have time to watch an hour-long show, we can spend that same amount of time with a counselor on the screen. So many therapists offer video sessions, we don’t even need to leave the house. The bigger question is: how much time do we lose because of our mental health issues? How many hours do we spend reliving unhealthy situations because we can’t address the underlying issues on our own? Therapy saves us time in the long run.
Excuse #3: I don’t have money.
There are lots of free or low-cost therapy options. I found my counselor at a sliding scale clinic where the patient chose how much to pay, starting at $20/week. The counselors who volunteered at the clinic had completed their educational training and were earning practice hours toward a license. A lot of health insurance plans cover mental health services. We might as well get our money’s worth from our monthly premiums.
Excuse #4: I don’t need someone telling me how to think / feel / act.
A good counselor doesn’t tell us what to do. A good counselor listens and reflects our words back to us. They help us realize what causes discomfort and develop solutions based on our unique needs. They also help us hold ourselves accountable.
This is my story:
When I first started going to my counselor, I couldn’t identify my emotions because I had been avoiding them for decades. He would ask me how I felt about something that had happened to me during the week, and I would start to tell him what my partner at the time said. It took me over a month to be able to answer the simple question, “How did you feel?”
Eventually I realized that negative feelings are good. They are an indicator that one of my boundaries is being crossed. Once I knew what my feelings were, I could identify what caused them. Before I started counseling, I couldn’t enforce my boundaries because I didn’t even know what they were!
Once I stopped holding my emotions inside, I felt better mentally and physically. Now I can identify my emotions, establish boundaries, and hold myself accountable to make sure I don’t fall back into unhealthy patterns. I can handle the ups and downs of my life more easily with the practices I developed together with my counselor.
If you’ve never been to therapy and have questions about how it works, please reach out me. I’m happy to help you on your journey.